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Joke of the Day

"Two atoms walking down the street ... ... one turns to the other and says ""I think I've lost an electron"". The other replies ""F*ck me, a talking atom!"""

"What do onions and people have in common? I weep uncontrollably when I cut them."

"If you play a NIickelback song backwards you'll hear messages from the illuminant.Even worse, if you play it forward you'll hear NIickelback"

"Do these pants make my butt look fat? No, but those glasses do."

"Disney is releasing an alternate version of its latest film for the Indian audience where Nemo's father starts looking for a bride for his son. It's called Finding Dowry."

"Dorothy: We have to see the wonderful Wizard of Oz Toto: OK but I wouldn't make a song and dance about it Dorothy: [inhaling] Toto: FFS"

"Ever find yourself masturbating and realize that you've already watched this episode of Trading Spaces?"

"Cinderella is my favorite fairy tale about how foot size is the best way to recognize someone."

"Flo Rida Did you know Right Round by Flo Rida was actually taken from an old Nazi spiritual from the '40's? Oh yeah, the original goes like this: Jew spin mein head reich round, reich round..."

"My girlfriend says I have a sharp tongue ... But I think she's just menstruating."