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Joke of the Day

"So I asked my grandma I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69. She said, ""No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""

"I like how Band-Aids come in 2 varieties: Stays on For a Second Before Falling Off or Needs WD-40 For Removal From Skin."

"Movies Lesson #5: very few people die while trying to get from one hotel room to another using the ledge outside, so give it a shot."

"How do you cure a Polish heroin addict? Give him a plastic spoon"

"A dog made of diamonds would be everyone's best friend."

"NSFW My girlfriend was arrested for riding her bike today. She was charged with peddling pussy."

"So I've always wanted to try the homosexual thing... ... but I get claustrophobic in tight spaces."

"This week is the 40th anniversary of the Rubik's Cube. If you kids don't know what a Rubik's Cube is, it's what people would stare at without human interaction before cellphones."

"A short poem for y'all... ""*Roses are black* *Violets are black* *Everything's black* *Even I am black*"" - Stevie Wonder"

"Where do Russians get their milk from? From moscow"