23507

Joke of the Day

"So I asked my grandma I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69. She said, ""No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""

"You know what I find amazing? That after 107 years, the Titanic's swimming pools are still full."

"Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Mrs. Pac-Man, for 25c she swallowed balls until she died"

"THERAPIST: How does that make you feel? ME: ""Mphh mophh wampph."" T: Again, this works better if you don't lie face down on the couch."

"Pinocchio had 2 pets. He had a cat named mittens and a dog named champ. He also had a wood pecker."

"Life is like children underwear Short and full of shit"

"Hey girl, I'm an Aries... Wanna get rammed?"

"I think I'm developing a taste for foreign films like Tokyo Drift."

"I am so old I need a selfie stick to read my own phone."

"I wonder if Hitler ever thought... ""Crap, did I turn the oven off?"""