9043

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a 1950s mental asylum and my fridge? One's filled with fruits and vegetables, the other's my fridge."

"""I'll hand you your change in the most inconvenient way possible!"" - Cashiers"

"Did you hear the one about the dude who married an exhibitionist? He saw his wife flash before his eyes."

"Snail 1: Are you male or female? Snail 2: Yes Snail 1: Me too! [they kiss passionately]"

"If my mom had just faked having a headache I wouldn't be writing this bullshit on the internet right now"

"The titanic is all like... ""I nominate all my passengers for the ice bucket challenge"""

"What does it say on Jerry Meyer-Cooper's tomb stone? And who the fuck is that?"

"What do you call red neck foreplay? Bitch get in the truck."

"Everybody is a little weird, except you and I... ...and I'm not so sure about you."

"Apparently saying 'exist over there' while pointing is not the best way to greet people in the mornings."