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Joke of the Day

"Two bananas are sitting on a river bank.. A turd comes floating by. The turd says "" come on in guys, the waters great!"" The one banana looks at the other banana and says ""you believe that shit!"""

"I think I ate too much salmon over Christmas I just tried to run up an escalator that was going down."

"What did you get your mom for Mother's Day tomorrow? Besides a tiny, brief panic attack?"

"Ghost joke How could a ghost have two moms One of them has to be a transparent"

"I sincerely hope that when I get older my children don't put me in a home or on a stage at a political convention."

"Archaeologists found Beethoven furiously erasing his music When asked what he was doing Beethoven responded ""I'm decomposing"""

"test. don't click. **woah this is thick** *tower of pisa* super^man ~~assassinated~~ [NotPorn](httP://pornhub.com)"

"Hey dude, there's 10 empty urinals in here no need to stand right next to... And now he's talking to me! Someone call 911!"

"I was in work the other day when a stunning Thai girl walked in. She was gorgeous. all I could think was 'don't get a boner, don't get a boner, don't get a boner.' She *did*."