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Joke of the Day

"I disagree with liquor store hours. It's 8am..let me in."

"NFL catch rules are absurd. ""Even though it looked like he caught it, he hadn't accepted the ball into his heart. Therefore, incomplete."""

"How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a really obscure number. You've probably never heard of it."

"why did the lobster refuse to help anyone else? because he's shellfish"

"Last night I had a bad dream about a nocturnal horse It was a real night-mare"

"My girlfriend keeps saying that it's not working out. I said, ""well, you haven't gone to the gym for a while, have you?"""

"What does a fat person and hitler have in common? Neither of them can finish a race"

"Just accidentally flashed my gay neighbor. He's not gay anymore. HAHAHAHAHA! Just kidding. He totally threw up."

"Apparently ""naked"" is not the answer when someone mad at you asked, how do you sleep at night?"

"Santa is on honeymoon this Christmas."