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Joke of the Day

"Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant. Dirty Bastards !!!"

"My superpower is turning food and drink into larger pants."

"When I was getting my prostate exam, I asked the Doctor where I should put my pants.. ""Over there, beside mine"" wasn't the answer I was expecting."

"After starting on August 15th, 2004, Julia Roberts just finished brushing her teeth a few hours ago."

"Whats the difference between driving and getting a blowjob? I can only hold one beer when I'm driving."

"I asked a Brazil fan how many days in a week and he got angry"

"Someone just threw sodium chloride at me. It was a salt."

"i'm reading this thesaurus. it's really interesting, or should i say... very interesting."

"I once dated a girl so my pet rock wouldn't be embarrassed after he threw himself at her window."

"I just read Fahrenheit 451. That book is lit."