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Joke of the Day
"Yo mama so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . .for a quote!"
Next Joke
"Firestien just came out with a new Jewish tire. It not only stops on a dime, it picks it up too."
"Why you shouldn't masturbate Dad: Son, you shouldn't masturbate otherwise you'll go blind. Son: Dad, I'm over here..."
"What does a pizza delivery boy and a gynecologist have in common? they can smell it, but they can't eat it."
"Killing spiders is easy and fulfilling if you imagine them whispering ""You look fat in those pants""."
"""How can I waste ten seconds of someone's time and make total strangers hate me?"" - Credit card chip inventor - Me, writing tweets"
"I got 66 problems and being upside down is 1"
"If you run in front of a car, you get tired. If you run behind a car, you get exhausted."
"Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a well known six offender."
"On one side of me was Dwayne Johnson, and the other, a stone fish. I guess I was just between the Rock and a hard plaice."