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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an asshole horse rider? A Jerk-ey."

"If I owned a Chinese restaurant, I'd install dimmer lights in the bathroom. Should anyone dim the lights, I'd have a song play. When the Lights Go Down in the Shitty"

"Life is going pretty good for me lately I guess. I just got a booty call last night. It was from life. Apparently it still wants to fuck me."

"Rene Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""Would you like a beer?"" Descartes replies, ""I think not,"" and promptly disappears."

"I have 10 guns. Obama wants 8 of them. How many guns do I have left? That's right. 10."

"Not to brag, but I know exactly what to do in a crisis. I'm really good at panicking. ^^^I ^^^panicked.. ^^^I ^^^meant ^^^to ^^^say ^^^Packing"

"What do you call a girl with two dicks right by her face? Cockeyed. Thought of this one in LA traffic! Hope I made it up..."

"What do you call five blondes in a pool? Air bubbles."

"Girls must gain like a 4 point bump after you've had a few drinks. Cause I'm in a bar in Greece, and these dames around me look like a 5 right now."

"The cashier is telling me to ""have a nice day,"" but judging by her tone she wants me to ""die in a tire fire."""