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Joke of the Day

"Jumper cables walked into a bar Bartender said I'll serve you but you better not start anything!"

"I bet the first gay Transformer will morph into a Prius."

"Donald Trump for President."

"You're so poor, your neighborhood just received a box full of 49ers Superbowl champions t shirts."

"Saw a kid crying in the grocery store. I opened a bottle of A1 and chugged it right in front of him. He stopped crying and started nodding."

"The masseuse asked if I wanted her to finish me, I said yes & then she ripped my spine out & said ""Flawless Victory!"""

"Sunday is Easter, Hitler's birthday, the Columbine anniversary, and weed Christmas. Your move, greeting card section."

"If a tree falls on your Ex in the woods, and no one hears it, still get rid of the chainsaw just in case."

"What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow? You can't milk a cow for 14 years straight."

"Isn't setting your Twitter feed to 'private' kinda like putting a velvet rope in front of an Arby's?"