90197

Joke of the Day

"I didn't vote for Trump, but at least Now I get to find out how He's going to Build That Wall and make Mexico pay for it."

"Is it crazy how saying sentences backwards... ...creates backwards sentences saying how crazy it is?"

"The man who invented distorted mirrors has died. His funeral will be held in asymmetry."

"COP: Damn I left my regular handcuffs at home, all I have is these candy handcuffs. I trust that u won't eat ur way out of these CROOK: Sure"

"An alligator can grow up to 17 feet. But most only have four."

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."

"My neighbor's kids said they loved sneakers. They're huge Vans of them."

"Knock Knock Who's there? The Pilot. Let me in."

"Ways to get ants out of your house: 1) Ant traps 2) Say you had a good time but it's late & you have work tomorrow 3) Set house on fire"

"In light of Google becoming Alphabet, Gmail will be replaced with ""Alpha Mail."""