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Joke of the Day

"How can a redneck tell his twin sisters apart? By taste."

"What was the stressed out toddler diagnosed with? Diapertension"

"He took me from a bar. He took me in his car....... He took me from a bar. He took me in his car. He took my top off. He puts his lips on mine, but don't worry: I'm a bottle of wine!"

"How do you make a plumber cry? Murder his family"

"Have you heard about the one about suicidal procrastinator He lived a long healthy life."

"Have you ever had a close call with a shark? No, but one did ring me up long distance once"

"I wouldn't be caught dead with a Necropheliac."

"I'm a dad. Here's my joke: Why would Bart Simpson never go to a pub? Because there's a BartEnder there."

"What do you call a sketchy Italian neighborhood? A spaghetto"

"Don't bother giving kids a hard time for saying lol while they're speaking if you came from an era when hardy-har-har was a thing."