90151

Joke of the Day

"Saw this guy having engine troubles with his smart car. So I got out my son's legos and built him a new one. I'm such a giver"

"HER: I have something I want to tell u ME: me too HER: *smiles coyly* same time? ME: sure HER: 1,2,3 I LOVE YO- ME: ONE TIME I ATE DOG FOOD"

"Someone just sat across from me at a table at Starbucks. They got too close to my food so I bit them."

"What's green, slimy, and smells like bacon? Kermit the Frog's finger"

"What's the stupidest, most useless comment that can still earn you some karma? This"

"In Italy, they call me Olive Oil Its because im extra virgin. :("

"What is a pirates favorite firework? M80"

"Why does a cow need a bell? Because its horn doesn't work."

"Last night on stage at the strip club ... ...was the ugliest woman I've ever seen. She danced up to me and said ""Hey handsome, what would you like me to take off first?"" ""My glasses"" I said"

"I'd like to hear Tony the Tiger's opinion on other products before he tells me how great his cereal is."