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Joke of the Day

"In Episode III, why did Obi Wan not finish Anakin off after their duel? Because Anakin was unarmed."

"Just heard on the news about the 1993 luggage murder. Apparently the police are reopening the case"

"I came up with a joke about my old cell phone Nevermind, it tends to get terrible reception"

"""How the fuck should I know if it's still good? Eat it. You get sick, it wasn't good. You people, you think I got microscopic fucking eyes."""

"I let my blind friend borrow money He said he was gonna pay me back the next time he saw me..."

"What to NEVER EVER EVER say to a fat girl (or a girl who is overly conscious of her own weight). (OC) As part of our team, you're expected to pull your own weight."

"Which news outlet has the most interesting Black Lives Matter coverage? BBC"

"Helped a homeless guy move today... I picked up his vomit and threw it across the street."

"Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period."

"We're out of duct tape, craft glue, and frozen orange juice because I made a sandwich while I was drunk last night."