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Joke of the Day

"I let my blind friend borrow money He said he was gonna pay me back the next time he saw me..."

"When I'm bored late at night, I text random numbers saying: ""You should really clean under your bed, it's filthy down here. PS: I love you."""

"Boss:""I'll need those projections done Aesop!"" Me:""You mean ASAP?"" Boss:""No, I mean a parable that uses animals to convey a moral lesson."""

"What does JCPenny and teenagers have in common? Pants 50% off"

"Jim ate my sandwich. It was clearly labeled. Jim's email is open on his PC. Jim's son now thinks he's adopted. The sandwich was LABELED."

"Why did the boy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at him"

"A man gets pulled over by a female cop. He asks ""what seems to be the problem, officer?"", and the cop responds, ""oh, nothing."" EDIT: Weee, this is my first time on the front page."

"TIFU by climbing into a German U-Boat Whoops. Wrong sub."

"I didn't believe my friend that you can't get big muscles without supplements ... Turns out it's the only whey"

"Out having dinner with friends. One of my friends mentioned the clothes I had on was gay... I told him, ""yes, they came out the closet this morning."""