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Joke of the Day

"Helped a homeless guy move today... I picked up his vomit and threw it across the street."

"""Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it."" In which case, there sure are a lot of amnesiacs on this subreddit."

"4: Where did I come from? Me: Mommy's belly. 4: How'd I get there? Me: I, uh...put you there? 4: How did you... Me: WHO WANTS ICE CREAM?!"

"What was the car doing in the dressing room? Changing attire."

"Whats the difference between a boy scout and a jew? The boy scout returns home from the camp."

"I asked my hairdresser to take a little bit off. I just really want to see her tits."

"What movie was made when Hannibal lecter got Paralysed? Silence of the Limbs"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Alva ! Alva who ? Alva heart !"

"Why did the puppeteer get out of jail? Because he ""pulled a few strings""!"

"I'll never understand why the guy that invented braille didn't just put the dots in shape of the actual letters."