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Joke of the Day

"What kinds of clothes do protons wear? Plus sizes!"

"How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, and 95 in the ashtray."

"What do math and mermaids have in common? They both have an alge-bra."

"What do a midget and a dwarf have in common? Very little."

"what do you call a gathering of nuns a convent-tion"

"[knocking on my neighbor's door] hi i just moved to the neighborhood & im legally required to inform u that i enjoyed the star wars prequels"

"I was born with this saltiness I tasted my own cum It tasted salty"

"Boyfriend's on the phone talking to a guy about lattes and his love of peach scones. I'm on the couch wondering when our periods synced."

"A man asks a woman: ""-Did you know that laughter is second best way to convince a girl to have sex with you ? "" ""-Really, what is the first ?"" ""-A knife."" ""-Hahaha, you're so funny !"" ""-Good choice."""

"The town emergency siren sounds. I peer out my bedroom window. ""It can't be"" I mutter. ""Honey, grab the kids. Hot local singles are coming."""