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Joke of the Day

"Then a guy with a rope necklace and flat brimmed hat came in and everyone felt better about their own problems."

"My wife hates when I make jokes about her weight... ...She needs to lighten up."

"""Dave's coming for dinner tonight."" ""Dave from work or Dave who misquotes Disney...?"" [from outside] ""...hakuna banana."""

"If you would have told me 20 years ago that I'd be posting stupid jokes on the internet, I would have said what's an internet."

"How did Harry Potter get down the hill? By walking... J. K. Rowling"

"What powers a robotic Sherlock Holmes Electricity, my dear Watt-Son"

"Mommy I got an A ""Mommy! Mommy! I got an A"" says Tommy to his mommy ""So what? You still have cancer!"" says mommy"

"""Now, tell me I'm pretty"" -me as a hypnotist"

"My wife told me to stop my obsession of singing 'Wonderwall' I said maybe...."

"Everyone complains about the weather but no one ever wants to sacrifice a virgin about it."