89974

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie? Stephen Hawking doesn't walkie or talkie."

"100% of people who eat in the dining area of the grocery store are murderers."

"Why do black people talk funny? They don't, it's a miff."

"X: I hate when the cat just stands like that, frozen. Why does he do that? Me: He's on paws. X: ... Me: On... paws. X: I hate you so much."

"What do you call two homeless people hitting each other with garbage bags? A Pillow Fight"

"#HowToGetABlackGirl Tell her she look like Rihanna even tho she look like whoopi goldberg in the color purple"

"I wonder if people with eye patches thought it was all fun and games."

"What do you call a cow that doesn't produce milk? An udder failure"

"It's not a real relationship until you secretly start to hate each other."

"The fact that axe handles are made of wood is the ultimate ""fuck you"" to trees."