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Joke of the Day

"*gets on 1 knee* Me: I know we haven't known each other for a long time, but will you marry me? Her: Please get off my knee"

"HEY OFFICER, STOP SCREAMING AT ME TO PULL OVER, I'M DRUNK NOT DEAF"

"Where do Sikhs buy clothes? Turban Outfitters"

"I discriminate against people who lose digits on their feet to frostbite. I guess you could say I am lactose intolerant."

"Today I was told a question is a great way to start a conversation. What do you think?"

"Hindsight is $20.20. Don't even ask me what she charged to see her boobs."

"What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell? Addercadabra and abradacobra."

"What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? He wiped his butt!"

"Catherine Zeta-Jones was recently diagnosed with bi-polar disorder half of the time she is Zeta, the other half shes Jones"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Amber ! Amber who ? Amber-sting to come in !"