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Joke of the Day

"The U.S. has more prisons than degree-granting colleges. How absurd. To fix that, we should merge some prisons and split up some colleges."

"If the majority of twitter's trending topics are any indication of the state of humanity thus far, we clearly need an asteroid intervention."

"Plane turbulence is caused by flying over hot areas, flying over mountains, and you getting up to use the airplane bathroom"

"Why did MacDonald's ban Tumblr? Because they don't serve Trans-Fats."

"Why did the bowler bring two pairs of pants? He wanted a spare in case he had a split."

"What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? The porcupine has pricks on the outside."

"Friend: I want a baby. Me: Remember when your neighbor was practicing the clarinet at 1AM? It's like that, but you can't call the cops."

"Him: My brother wants us all to go camping together next summer. Me: Can't go, I'm allergic. Him: To what? Me: Everything you just said."

"Why does the Law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients? To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service! "

"What kind of Aircraft is into Men and Women? A Biplane."