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Joke of the Day
"With apologies to books, tits are way better."
Next Joke
"As a german I have to ask: You know what really grinds my gears? Nothing. Our engineering is perfect."
"Me: my fitbit broke Sales Guy: how Me: i put it on my dog's tail and asked him who's a good boy Sales Guy: if i give you a new one can i see"
"Pretty sure you can see me practicing my ""not all Muslims are bad"" Thanksgiving talking points in the bg of a student film in Wash Sq Park."
"[Wife finds me crying on kitchen floor] Me: I fell & spilled honey on myself. Wife: Me: Will you ki Wife: I'm not kissing your Honey Boo Boo"
"Q: What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? A: A bad golfer goes WHACK! ""Damn."" A bad skydiver goes ""Damn."" WHACK!"
"What's 80 feet long and has 22 teeth? The front row of a Ted Nugent concert."
"Why was the Berlin Wall torn down? It didn't match with the Iron Curtains."
"If he asks you to be his girlfriend say yes and then hide from him so he can never break up with you."
"Who is the smartest rapper? Ice^3"