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Joke of the Day

"Timothy's mom has three children. The first one's name is April. The second one's name is June. What is the third child's name? Timothy."

"I've always wanted a pew in my house Because I remember how well I use to sleep on those."

"How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Hand the bitch a shovel"

"Hate when the grammar police single me out like some kind of which hunt"

"What are crisp like milk and go 'eek eek eek' when you eat them ? Mice Krispies !"

"What's the difference between a queer and a refrigerator? A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull the meat out!"

"If I weren't such a genus I'd be more specific."

"dave is coming to play poker ""dave from college or dave who walks like he's in a video game?"" [dave takes 3 tries to walk through open door]"

"What do magistrates have with their water? Just ice."

"The groundhog saw The Shadow and said it was an awful movie."