89829

Joke of the Day

"Do not use ""Whoomp! There it is!"" unless it actually is there."

"*nudges widow at funeral* are you thinking Arby's"

"I'll be a millionaire once I'm done making this device that lets you punch people in the face over the internet."

"I once saw a skit about public hanging It had brilliant execution."

"I wonder if Ninja-Siri wields Cortanas."

"What's the difference between a priest and a pimple? At least the pimple waits until you are 14 before it cums on your face."

"Murder is legal if it happens after a morning person says ""WELL WELL WELLLLLL LOOK WHO FINALLY GOT UP"""

"Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore... A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband."

"Whenever I stub my toe I automatically blame and hate the next person I see."

"A nice box of chocolates provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?"