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Joke of the Day

"Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore... A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband."

"I tried publishing my novel... in which I stress the danger of global warming by describing my experience battling encroaching fire ant colonies. Every publisher called it ant-I-climatic."

"Today is a military command: March Fourth!"

"you are doing that too much. try again in 2 minutes Guess I shared to many Redditt posts too soon Or ""that's what she said"" he he"

"What does a Hot Pepper and a Prostitute have in common? Your dick burns like hell after you stick it in. Side Note: I just realized how much I love prostitute jokes."

"""I'm not drunk, I'm a zombie..."" ~Me passing out candy on Halloween"

"What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? Quarter pounder with cheese!"

"What do all Amish women want? 2 Mennonite."

"My buddy's phone autocorrected ""wife"" to ""wide"" and now he's living in my garage."

"Accidentally bring the wrong kid home on Halloween once and now I have to listen to the same stupid story EVERY year."