89627

Joke of the Day

"Dad: Remember when I told you Santa wasnt real Me: Yea Dad: There's one more thing Me: Don't say it Dad: Retirement Me: *sobs uncontrollably"

"I became a proud dad today My son is actually four but he was a boring little cunt for the first three years."

"What do you can a pessimistic antelope? A cantaloupe"

"I had my credit card stolen. About two years ago now. I never reported it though. On my first statement, I found that the thieves were charging less than my wife was."

"I like my beer like i like my violence.. Domestic"

"I like my woman like I like my cheese... White American."

"If I have an addiction to masturbation And I suddenly develop it into an addiction to sex, does that mean my addiction is getting out of hand?"

"Don't worry about the grass on the other side. It's not your grass."

"What's the difference between a hobo crack addict and a millionaire crack addict? 99 dollars."

"At school: Slutty girl: ugh my throat really hurts. Me: I bet your knees do too. Her: what Me: what"