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Joke of the Day
"[sliding $5 to the zookeeper] Maybe one of those penguins ends up in my car?"
Next Joke
"Wait, so you're saying these booklets are FREE? THESE booklets? Filled with HUNDREDS of real estate listings? OK, WHAT'S YOUR ANGLE?"
"What is the Technical name For IronMan Overreacting? ""Fe"" male"
"(Watching Liar Liar) Wife: If you couldn't lie for 24 hrs, how much longer would we be married? Me: Until the end of this movie."
"Why did lebron change his name to ebron Because the cavaliers toke the L"
"Well, well, well, if it isn't my inability to cope with life."
"Have you guys ever seen any of my exes? Exactly."
"I asked my friend to try and jump start my car. Fat bastard smashed my windshield."
"Some people probably think I tweet too much but maybe I'm required to tweet this much or else this bus will explode ever think of that"
"Why don't blind people go skydiving? Because it scares the crap out of their dogs."