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Joke of the Day

"One of the best ways to disguise the sound of a fart is to do it during the 4 claps in the Friends theme song."

"Teacher: Name two pronouns ? Pupil: Who ? me ?"

"LPT: Don't waste a bit more money for the brand-name bleach; it isn't any different than the bargain brand They taste exactly the same"

"Two flies are on a toilet seat. One gets pissed off."

"You were a great man, Christopher Columbus ... ... to think you had the foresight of giving me work off 5 centuries later."

"What's orange and sounds like a Parrot? A Carrot"

"I saw a viral video today. It taught me a lot about STDs."

"What did one hat say to the other hat? You stay here, I'll go on ahead"

"Therapist: do u communicate with your kids? Me: my son stays in his room all day & never speaks Therapist [looks at notes]: the 5 week old?"

"What's the difference between a hippy and a hockey player? The hockey player takes a shower after three periods."