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Joke of the Day

"Mother Teresa walks into a bar"

"What do vegetable do when they got robbed? They dont."

"I used to have a job impersonating a German composer. Bach in the day!. (I take no credit for this - as I read it in a magazine)"

"Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance?"

"I once played chess with an Egyptian King... ...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh."

"Chelsea Clinton is so patriotic That she wore George Washington's wooden teeth for her speech last night"

"Why is santa always so happy? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live."

"NURSE: Doctor, I've lost the cat's pulse VET: Ok. Time of death is 10:05, 10:05, 10:05, 10:05, 10:05, 10:05, 10:05, 10:05, and 10:05"

"Redditor with a bomb EDIT: Wow, this really blew up! u/flyingscotzman u/FlyingScotzman user/flyingscotzman user/FlyingScotzman"

"How do you make a hormone? Don't pay her"