229906

Joke of the Day

"NURSE: Doctor, I've lost the cat's pulse VET: Ok. Time of death is 10:05, 10:05, 10:05, 10:05, 10:05, 10:05, 10:05, 10:05, and 10:05"

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"I hate French people They give me the crepes"
"If it's not Valentine's Day and you see a man in flower shop, you can probably start the conversation with ""What did you do?""."
"The most diverse software company in the world consists of 100% black lesbian single mothers missing a body part, with arts degrees"
"You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter. "
"Good cop: We got you red-handed! Weatherman cop: Well there's a 70% chance of guilt but I'd go ahead and make weekend plans"
"Today I set my location on Tinder to Flint, Michigan Because I bet those girls are pretty thirsty."
"(warning racist and horrible humor, NSFW) How do you start a rave party in Ethiopia? Nail a piece of toast to the ceiling"
"Why are peppers irritating? Because they're jalapeno business!"
"What's an undertaker's favorite element? Barium!"
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