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Joke of the Day

"Me: do you love me? Siri: I'm only your assistance. Me: if you don't, I will jump off a bridge. Siri:there are two bridges near you."

"My brother is the worst seller ever. He was trying to sell me a Vacuum Cleaner but the only thing that he kept saying was ""it sucks""."

"Why aren't there any introverted suicide bombers? They have a hard time sharing what's inside with strangers."

"Open letter to the mods of /r/jokes C"

"Why can't you tell secrets in a corn field? Because, corn has ears!"

"Why did a kid throw the butter out of the window? To see the butterfly! I ll jump out of the window now!"

"Q: Why does Chelsea look so stupid and ugly? A: Heredity."

"I had a window smash and impale me in the buttocks today... It was a pane in the ass."

"Dating is a win-win. If things go well, you eat food and fall in love. If they don't, you still eat food and that's all that really matters."

"Guardsman: ""Lady Pao, the Reddit peasants are revolting!"" Lady Pao: ""Yes I agree, they're disgusting. Do you have a point?"""