185791

Joke of the Day

"My brother is the worst seller ever. He was trying to sell me a Vacuum Cleaner but the only thing that he kept saying was ""it sucks""."

"Cinco de Mayo is when all the single white women in your office go out for margaritas after work and loudly call each other ""hooker."""

"What's the difference between today's most sophisticated encryption that can still be cracked and the still uncracked ciphers of the Zodiac Killer? Ted Cruz"

"My credit card was stolen today I don't think I'm gonna do anything about it. So far he's spending way less than my wife does."

"*walks up to cute teller at bank* Me: you wanna grab lunch some time? T: sir, I've seen your balance. M: yea, I was hoping you'd buy."

"I need hug(e amount of money)."

"Why did the drunk guy call the sheep Legolas? Because it was a cloud"

"Why do elephants hate flying? The seats are too small."

"It was really cold today... It was so cold that I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets."

"What's the most romantic pasta? Farfalle. It always gives me butterflies in my stomach."