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Joke of the Day

"Sitting next to my wife today, I said ""I love you"", She replied ""Is that you or the beer talking?"" I answered ""It's me... Talking to the beer"""

"Johnny Depp is proof that if you dress like you're a member of a rock band long enough one will just form around you eventually"

"I'm going to open a bank ... ... with a clawbar!"

"What did Ozzy Osbourne do after eating a whole Bull? He threw up the horns."

"Somewhere in Africa... a bunch of orphans are about to be running around in confederate flag shirts."

"What does Trump say after sex? ""You're the best daughter ever."" (Credit for inspiration to the ""What does Bill say to Hilary after sex"" joke)"

"What season is it when you are on a trampoline? Spring time :D I'm not funny (._.)"

"What do you call a black pilot? You call him a pilot! you racist!"

"If I could have been any Monarch in history I would have been George the 6th But with asthma. That way I could introduce myself by saying I'm King George... and Wheezy."

"Knock Knock Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who? Bless you."