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Joke of the Day

"A photon checks into a hotel. The bellhop asks, ""May I help you with your luggage?"" The photon responds, ""No thank you. I'm traveling light."""

"This just happened and it could be a joke... No. Really. I was swinging my fork around and got dumplings in my eyes. It wasn't that bad."

"What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Punch her in the face."

"If you smell Axe body spray on your lawyer you're going to jail."

"What are Mario's pants made out of? DenimDenimDenim"

"it would be pretty badass if people never stopped growing and old people were like 30 feet tall. anyway thanks for coming to my TED talk"

"Why couldn't we get precise kinetic data on the phosphine-catalyzed reaction? The reaction rate was too phos-phor-us"

"More people die from choking on sweet packaging than they do from the sweets themselves... Gums don't kill people. Wrappers do."

"My Mum laughed at me when I said I was building a car out of spaghetti... You should have seen her face as I drove pasta"

"Waking up an hour early gives you an extra hour to wish you were still in bed."