89354

Joke of the Day

"You should never bribe someone to get what you want. You should blackmail them, it's cheaper and much more effective."

"13: Dad, What's detour mean? Me: Get a dictionary and look up tampon."

"Just saw that my wife was googling ballroom dancing lessons and now I'm hoping that she's having an affair."

"You should never bully fat people.... They have enough on their plates"

"After 10 years of marriage I've composed a check list of good reasons to get married. 1) Your family is being held hostage. 2) 3)"

"How to celebrate 4/20 Guide your newborn son into becoming an evil dictator and slaughter most of the Jewish population."

"Hush little baby, Don't say a word. Daddy's gonna buy you a bunch of crap so he doesn't have to hear your incessant whining ya spoiled brat."

"How many trains have I derailed in all my years as a train driver? It's hard to keep track."

"What is Batman's favourite porn site? Motherless.com"

"I realized taking dogs for walks is basically their way of checking social media. One lap of smells is a newsfeed scroll. Peeing is posting."