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Joke of the Day

"Did you know Canada was originally going to be called ""CND""? When they were asked to spell it, they spelled it: C-eh. N-eh. D-eh."

"I think my neighbor is stalking me... I saw her googling my name through my telescope."

"What do you call a galaxy full of Brazilians? The Milky Hue."

"It may be autocorrect, but I'm excited to see how this plays out when I drive my friend to pickup her satan wedding dress."

"So I bought cinnamon spray to numb my wife's mouth for sexual purposes. It doesn't work very well. She woke up anyways."

"Teacher: How much is half of 8 Pupil: Up and down or across ? Teacher: What do you mean ? Pupil: Wellup and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0"

"A vandal smashed a hole in the strip club wall. The police are looking into it."

"Arnold Palmer: get me a refreshing drink Barkeep: try this, its lemonade and iced tea Arnold Palmer: Mmm... its good... I just invented it."

"How is an accordion like an artillery shell? Once you hear it, it's already too late."

"I'd kill for Opie's pizza. Unfortunately, they never deliver. :("