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Joke of the Day

"I Lost my watch at a party once. Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl. I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose. No one does that to a girl... not on my watch."

"What does a haunted hamburger say? MooooOOOoooOoo"

"Wow, this is a pretty shit joke... ...said no one ever."

"[NSFW] Why is Popeye's penis soft and smooth? He puts it in Olive Oyl. Edit: I don't know why this is tagged under religion. \_()_/ "

"Judge: ""Micky, I can't grant you a divorce from Minnie Mouse, because she is not crazy"" ""I didn't say she was crazy Judge, I said she was fucking Goofy"""

"Why do Americans hate knock knock jokes? Because Freedom Rings."

"My wife gets kind of bitchy once a month. It usually lasts about 30 days."

"A man walks into a sofa... Couch"

"I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on . . . I said,"" You're pulling my leg."""

"When I was a kid, I had a lemonade stand. I'd give away the first glass for free and charge $20 for the second. The refill contained the antidote."