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Joke of the Day

"I like to play music loud It's kind of my forte."

"That's definitely not my ringtone, but I'm going to have to check my phone anyway."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bea ! Bea who ? Beacause I'm worth it !"

"What's a specimen? Mama mia, it's an Italian astronaut!"

"My wife has this really weird fetish... She likes to dress up as herself and then act like a fucking bitch all the time."

"How do you starve a black guy? Hide his food stamps under his work boots."

"There hasn't been a sexual assault that didn't have some Ed Hardy fabric as evidence since 2006."

"I was just making a sandwich when I thought to myself, So, there is a downside to divorce'."

"I tried to catch some fog once... ...mist."

"Two muffins are baking in an oven ... And one muffin turns to the other one and says, ""Wow, it's pretty darn hot in here."" The other muffin says, ""Holy shit! A talking muffin!"""