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Joke of the Day

"Santa is like fathers... He only comes when the kids are asleep"

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't. Numbers aren't capable of having any sort of feelings, and you are weird for thinking they do."

"*Follows dreams *Ends up at refrigerator."

"""Inkblot."" ""Inkblot."" ""Inkblot."" ""Inkblot."" ""Inkblot."" -Rorschach taking a Rorschach test"

"Why can't you trick an aborted baby? Because it was not born yesterday."

"Did you her about the boy that was born without any eyelids? They used the foreskin from the circumcision to make them. I guess you could say he was a little cockeyed."

"Anyone know if Flava Flav survived the weekend's Daylight Savings switchover?"

"What do you call water that hasn't been changed? Still, water."

"I still call my dad ""Master"" out in public so that people stare and feel bad for me."

"I like to ask girls if they wanna take a shower with me then hand them a ski mask and drive to Lowe's."