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Joke of the Day

"After 20 years of marriage, the one thing that pisses off my wife ... of 6 years is that I keep a running total."

"KNOCK KNOCK Who's there? I'm I'm who? Hi Who, I'm Daniel"

"Old joke perfect for redditors. Frog walks into a library and the librarian puts down books and the frog says ""reddit, reddit, reddit."". Just thought I'd share"

"How bacteria stay in contact while they're in jail? They exchange cell numbers."

"To my calendar: Your days are numbered."

"fuck that. A guy frantically searches his room then asks his grandma if she has found a bottle labeled LSD. Fuck that replies granny, have you seen the fucking dragon in the kitchen?"

"Decided to burn a lot of calories today so I'm thinking of setting a fat kid on fire."

"What concert only costs 45 cents? 50 cent featuring Nickelback."

"I wish I was a girl So I can use my menstruation cycle as my calendar."

"Having daughters is great if you want to get yelled at every time you hit a butterfly with your car."