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Joke of the Day

"fuck that. A guy frantically searches his room then asks his grandma if she has found a bottle labeled LSD. Fuck that replies granny, have you seen the fucking dragon in the kitchen?"

"My friend cooled himself to absolute zero... he's 0K now."

"What is the difference between picking your nose.... ...and fucking someone up the ass? When picking your nose, you hope something **will** be stuck to the end after you pull out!"

"?When the moon hits your eye? You'll be killed. It's massive."

"I hate it when I'm brushing my teeth and Kiefer Sutherland climbs out of the toilet just to ask me if he can bum a cigarette."

"Where do the stankass penguins live? Antfartica"

"Why was Juan late to the Mexican food party? Because he had to pick up the [pace!](http://imgur.com/21sH8sj)"

"What do you call a mentally handicapped lion? a leotard ~"

"What body part is long, hard, bendable, and contains the letters p, e, n, i, s? Spine"

"Women call me ugly until they hear how much money I make. Then they call me ugly *and* poor."