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Joke of the Day

"Do you know why the guy who picks up medical waste from the vet drives a car shaped like a dog bone? He likes to drive the dog's nuts."

"How do skunks like their e-mails? Scent."

"Sorry I hacked your e-cig. You've actually been vaping a dead bird for a month."

"Maggie Thatcher Just heard they have cancelled the funeral. ATOS have declared Maggie fit for work!"

"What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? I take my boots off to jump on the trampoline."

"A magician turns into a driveway..."

"What's the difference between Tinder and the PokemonGo app? Nothing, it both requires swiping to find monsters in your area."

"My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline; she hit the roof."

"Man it would suck if I died on this plane mostly because of some unused gift cards I was waiting for ""the right time"" to use."

"School portraits would be way cooler if they were all mid-spaghetti-bite candids."