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Joke of the Day

"""Dad, are they allowed to put two people in the same grave?"" ""I don't think so, son. Why do you ask?"" ""Because that headstone over there says, 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"""

"Jared Fogle will feel a sense of familiarity in jail. Even inside jail, he'll be enjoying fresh meat."

"Why is the beach wet? Cause the seaweed"

"How do you make a sandwich legendary? Make it on dark rye"

"Can't wait to walk down the aisle. The frozen food aisle. Marry me, ice cream."

"So a new company just become the official sponsor of the Special Olympics! Downy! Everybody deserves softer uniforms!"

"what's a political campaign we can all get behind? gay rights"

"Whats the difference between two dicks and a joke? Your mom can't take a joke."

"I thought The Walking Dead was having a special tonight.... Turns out it was just The Rolling Stones performing at the 12/12/12 concert."

"How do you confuse a feminist? Tell her not to make you a sandwich."