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Joke of the Day

"At a bathroom line. ''Can I go before you? I really need to number two'' ''No, I was here before you and I need to go as well''. ''I swear I need to go more than you''. ''You're so full of shit''."

"Whats green and goes round and round at 100 miles an hour ? A frog in a blender !"

"Did you hear Woody stabbed his best friend? What a Buzz kill"

"What did the tree do when the bank closed? It started its own branch"

"I'm not afraid of someone who threatens to open up a can of whoopass on me... I'm much more afraid of the people who can the whoopass to begin with."

"What did the ocean say? Nothing, he just waved."

"how many How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? I'd tell you, but you probably wouldn't understand anyways."

"The Energizer bunny was just releases from prison. He was charged with battery. . . ."

"What is the definition of a Wife? An attachment you screw on the bed to get the housework done."

"What do you call it when a white man dancing has a seizure? An improvement."