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Joke of the Day

"ME: My new contacts are here! WIFE: Don't put them all on at once like you did last ME: [eyes wide] I CAN SEE YOUR BONES"

"The difference between a gay guy and a fridge... The fridge doesn't fart when you pull the meat out."

"whats the difference between a gay guy and a refrigerator the refrigerator doesn't fart when you take the meat out."

"What do a woman and a grenade have in common? Pull off the ring and the house is gone."

"Found $12 bucks today! Well, it was in my daughters purse, but I figure she owes me at least $50,000 by now."

"My negotiating strategy is to make a skeptical face for one second then pay what the other person asked."

"Why did Vladimir fall off his bike? He was rushin"

"If Jesus was hangin out at the WTC in the 21st century.. Would he have been killed by Pontius Pilot?"

"Why did the Catholic church decide to abandon science? Light stopped having mass"

"Sheep A Welshman was asked how many sexual conquests he had. He began counting them................and fell asleep."