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Joke of the Day

"Why are there no suicide books on librarys? because those who take them never bring them back."

"How do you ask someone if they're Vegan? You don't need to, they'll tell you"

"Black eye Tom: ""Hey buddy, howya do...whoa! who gave you that black eye? Sam: ""My wife"" Tom: ""I thought she was out of town for the weekend."" Sam: ""So did I."""

"why did Microsoft skip 9? because 7 , 8 , 9 !"

"Hit 1,000 followers and a 100 star tweet on the same day! Do you know what that means?! 900 of you don't read my shit."

"A guy in the store on his cell said ""Susan, I'm in my car on my way"" so I yelled ""NO HE'S NOT!"" Because nobody lies to Susan in front of me."

"I read an article about a stolen dog being reunited with its owner and it made me feel good to think maybe someone will steal my dog one day"

"What's the most difficult part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair."

"Why does everybody love honey? Because it never gets old."

"My grandma is very conservative. It would break her heart if she knew I was bi -partisan."