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Joke of the Day

"How can you tell if you're on a Starcraft diet? Not enough minerals."

"2: I no want to eat pasta! It too spicy! Me: Oh ok then 2: I no wan watch Mickey Mouse he too spicy! Me: huh? 2: NO BATH TIME BATH TOO SPICY"

"revolting SERVANT: Ms. Pao, the Redditors are revolting! PAO: Well, you're not so pretty yourself..."

"when you post a tweet so good you have to do a bunch of push-ups & your mom bangs on your door & tells you to stop breathing so loud"

"Kids are like farts You only accept them if they're yours"

"I'll take ""That's Not A Category"" for $200, Alex. ""That's not a category."" Yes, that's right. ""That's not a category."" I chose that, yes."

"A Jewish Boy Asks His Dad For $20 Surprised the dad says, ""$10 dollars?! What the hell do you need $5 dollars for?!"""

"If at first you don't succeed Skydiving may not be for you"

"Did you know that your local graveyard doesn't allow anyone who lives where you are to be buried there.... ....As they need to be dead first"

"There are three types of people in this world Those who can count, and those who can't."