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Joke of the Day

"I'll take ""That's Not A Category"" for $200, Alex. ""That's not a category."" Yes, that's right. ""That's not a category."" I chose that, yes."

"[NSFW] What's black and blue and hates sex? The little boy in my trunk."

"My boss accused me of having OCD... I soon put him in his place."

"I don't know why beer companies bother with an expiration date... it's never going to make it anywhere near that."

"What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa stops after 3 ho's..."

"Don't get mad. Get odd. Like incredibly odd. Show up in a clown suit to their work. Draw potatoes on all their mirrors. Make them be afraid."

"Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black."

"Some people tell me I have a superiority complex. But it's actually pretty simple. They're just too dumb to comprehend it."

"I don't know how to do my own taxes or understand how the stock market works, but definitely listen to my political opinions on everything"

"How many good presidential candidates does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Its gonna be a dark four years, now isn't it?"