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Joke of the Day

"""Hey Hillary what color do you think this dre-- never mind"" - Bill Clinton scrolling through Twitter last night"

"A hamburger walks into a bar The bartender says we don't serve food here!"

"Why did little Dan dropped his ice cream? He was hit by a buss"

"What is the hardest part to eat in a vegetable? The wheelchair."

"Give a man a fire, and He'll be warm for the night. Light a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

"Bad pirate jokes! I'll start. What be a pirate's favorite restaurant? You'd think it was Arby's, but it's actually Long John Silver's."

"I respect strippers because its really hard to dance by yourself and not look stupid."

"Dad: My head hurts, it feels like wrongdad. Son: What's wrongdad? Dad: I told you, my head hurts. Son: This is why mom left."

"Why was I named after Adolf Hitler... Well, I certainly wasn't named before him!"

"APOCALYPSE SURVIVOR: ""We must conserve resources. Only people with useful skills! What's yours?"" ME: ""I write and want to dir--"" ""GUNSHOT*"