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Joke of the Day

"How do you fit an elephant in a Safeway bag? You take the F out of safe, and the F out of way."

"Hank Hill is into BDSM because he is Pro-pain."

"What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak."

"Why do all zombies have sprained ankles?"

"Between texting, tweeting and E-mails, I haven't spoken a word in the last 3 years."

"I still call my dad ""Master"" out in public so that people stare and feel bad for me."

"My new Toyota is going to be in a new movie . . . Just a small part. It's just a Camryo."

"Scrabble was invented by Nazi's to piss off kids with dyslexia. The word ""dyslexia"" was invented by Nazi's to piss off kids wigh dyslexia."

"Me: Time travel Interviewer: what's your biggest stren- holy shit"

"Honked & did thumbs-up to teen goth girl on the street I thought looked super cool & she rolled her eyes & I was like YES EXACTLY KEEP AT IT"