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Joke of the Day

"Why did Kirk and Spock march into the woman's restroom? They were boldly going where no man has gone before"

"2 fish. there are 2 fish in a tank, one turns to the other and says, ""How the fuck do you drive this thing?"""

"I hope my liberal use of made-up words doesn't make you...discomfortable"

"A 3 legged dog walks into a bar Did you hear about the 3 legged dog who walked into a bar? He was looking for the man who shot his paw!"

"My paper rips a lot It's tearrible paper."

"What number is higher than infinity? 420"

"[knocking at the door] VOICE OUTSIDE: Open up this is the fashion police! ME: [furiously flushing bandanas down the toilet] JUST A SECOND"

"What is a monster's favourite drink? Demonade."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Not sure but I ran over the fucker in my Toyota Yaris."

"This morning I was at the atm when an elderly woman asked if I could check her balance So I pushed her over"